Updated Review #19: Halloween III: Season of the Witch

Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: The most preposterous plan to...uhh...take over the world--I think--ever concocted.

Review: As most "Halloween" fans readily know, part 3 was intended to be the beginning of a yearly anthology series whereby each future installment would be a separate horror tale revolving around Halloween. Moronically, they decided to make the opening entry of this plan be the ridiculously convoluted scheme of a corporation to use Halloween masks to kill the children of the world with the assistance of Stonehenge and robots. Riiiiight. What the fuck was John Carpenter thinking?! Magic pebbles embedded in masks and fucking ROBOTS!! Really?! And how could I EVER forget that all this appears to be activated through a magic spell included in a damn commercial jingle! Try getting that godforsaken Silver Shamrock theme out of your head! Good lord...

At a glance, I do think the initial concept of an anthology series was a great direction to take the series with Michael Myers clearly dead and his story concluded. However, part 3's story is unforgivably stupid through and through. The villain, Cochran, supposedly stole a pillar from Stonehenge and combined its magical properties with microchips that are embedded in Halloween masks that will unleash their power when triggered by a hypnotic commercial? Whaaaat? And when this magic is unleashed it kills the wearer of the mask and materializes bugs, snakes, etc. to kill others near the victim. Sure. Helping Cochran, despite having a town full of loyal minions, is androids or robots or whatever they're supposed to be. Uh huh. Finally, all of this is happening....because...the stars aligned? And Cochran stands to gain...umm...uhh...? Well, they've sold me. Sounds like a brilliant followup to the Michael Myers story arc.

Besides the shenanigans afoot, the main characters are boring. They're investment in this plot to kill the children of the world is forced. Likewise, the possibility of so many kids wearing the same 3 stupid masks is absurd. This entire scheme is nearly foiled by just a random business owner running into a doctor and his concerned daughter? Plus, the daughter somehow becoming an android/robot makes no sense whatsoever. I did like the atmosphere and mystery elements of the story, however, everything else is horrendous.

The most egregious mistake of this installment was declaring the original "Halloween" as fictional in this universe. Why not permanently set each entry on the same Halloween night in 1978? This would have made for incredible crossover potential. For example, in this movie they could have mentioned the murders going on in Haddonfield. Or had the main guy mention trying to get a hold of the doctor from part 2. Stuff like this could have been AMAZING if handled properly. Likewise, you could just shift perspective to other towns--other countries even--while keeping that retro design between installments.

I don't know, what is there really to say about part 3? It sucks. The defenders of this film claim the public just wanted more Michael, which is partially true, but this story is utterly pathetic and nonsensical. This was a terrible beginning to something that could have been truly remarkable and unique to the film industry. Instead, part 3 is the black sheep of the franchise and the worst non-Rob Zombie entry.

Notable Moment: Probably when Ellie is revealed to be a robot or whatever. Besides being a terrible twist, why didn't she try to stop Daniel earlier? Making matters worse is how long the scenes of her death drag on which completely cheapens the climax. Goddamn this script needed some serious rework and they needed me as a creative consultant BADLY.

Final Rating: 3.5/10

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