158. Four Kids And It; movie review

FOUR KIDS AND IT
Cert PG
110 mins
BBFC advice: Contains  mild threat, violence, language, sex references

Why is it that old-fashioned family movies seem to fall flatter than they once did?
Is it because we need dazzling special effects or that it is odd seeing children being portrayed as wide-eyed as they were 'in our day'?
Jacqueline Wilson is one of the most successful children's authors of all time but this first adaptation of one of her books into a movie lacks pizzazz.
In addition, its acting feels stilted, particularly that of the adults.
Andy De Emmony's initial premise is slightly odd - two hooked-up single parents (Matthew Goode and Paula Patton) decide that the best way of introducing their four children to their relationship and each other is to take them on a seaside holiday.
Let's think about this. Neither has even told the kids that they are seeing each other. Indeed, all of the children still live in the false hope that they will get back with their respective mum and dad.
So, instead of trying to gradually talk them into a new life, it is thrust upon them.
No surprise that the children don't take kindly to the new arrangement - particularly the 13-year-old girls (Teddie-Rose Malleson-Allen and Ashley Aufderheide).
So, they strop around unreasonably, as teenagers do, while their respective younger brother and sister (Billy Jenkins and Ellie Mae Siame) adapt rather more easily.
Anyway, the trip to the seaside becomes an adventure become their wildest expectations when they first meet the owner (Russell Brand) of a nearby mansion and then, much more, importantly, an ET-alike creature who lives in the sand (voiced by Michael Caine).
The latter is an endearing but cheeky know-it-all who has the ability to grant one wish per day.
As he predicts, such genie-type attributes may cause more trouble than they are worth.
It would be wrong to spoil the further storyline but suffice to say children make immature wishes and all goes predictably pear-shaped.
Meanwhile, the parents are combining their frustration with their offspring at trying to grow their under-pressure relationship and Brand's character is on the quest for treasure.
Lots of exciting elements but somehow De Emmony's movie, with the exception of Caine's sand monster, doesn't grab as much as it should - possibly because of the banal dialogue and C-Beebies-style acting.

Reasons to watch: Old-fashioned family film
Reasons to avoid: Very twee

Laughs: None
Jumps: None
Vomit: Yes
Nudity: None
Overall rating: 5/10

Did you know? Jacqueline Wilson's book Four Children and It was inspired by E. Nesbitt’s 1902 classic Five Children and It.

The final word. Jacqueline Wilson: "I’ve been very lucky with the television adaptations and stage adaptations, but if I’m honest, I’d always hoped for an actual film. I can’t think of any other particular thing I’d like to achieve. This is the cherry on top of the cake.”  Virgin Media

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