65. Marry Me; movie review

 

MARRY ME

Cert 12A

112 mins

BBFC advice: Contains moderate sex references, implied strong language

As cheesy as the runniest Camembert - Marry Me will only be for the most devout followers of chick flicks.

This is a vehicle for Jennifer Lopez. She sings, dances and is generally lovely.

And she is 52 - and looks fabulous on it.

However, it does stretch belief that she would be about to marry a fellow warbler who is 28 and looks even younger.

Lopez plays Kat Vasquez, a world-famous singer who plans to marry the pop star during one of her concerts in front of a live TV audience of 20 million.

They are a pair who live for the camera and, even when she is not performing, her every move is recorded for her social media channels.

Owen Wilson portrays her opposite - a conscientious single-parent maths teacher who has no social media account and doesn't even know who Valdez is.

Nevertheless, he is persuaded to join his friend (Sarah Silverman) and his daughter (Chloe Coleman) at the gig of the century.

There, as the planned marriage collapses, the famous singer picks the unknown teacher out of the crowd and weds him instead.

Apparently, Wilson's character agrees because "it seems the right thing to do" and almost seems surprised that he finds himself at the centre of a media frenzy.

But instead of them both realising this is the most stupid action of their lives, they actually see the possibilities of self-discovery by staying with each other.

Thus, the teacher attempts to immerse himself in the world of a superstar and her entourage and she catches on to the 'joys' of maths club.

The problem is that the resolutions are far too simple. 

That means there is scene after scene which prompt either the roll of the eyes or an exasperated gasp because they are so unlikely.

I also felt that the roles were far too easy for Lopez and Wilson. Basically, she plays herself and he does his usual well-meaning, self-deprecating act in his Texan drawl.

But I guess, being a middle-aged man (only six years old than J-Lo), means I wasn't part of an audience who may go ga-ga over Kat Coiro's picture.

Reasons to watch: The songs

Reasons to avoid: Sickly sweet

Laughs: None

Jumps: None

Vomit: None

Nudity: None

Overall rating: 4.5/10

Did you know? Marry Me is adapted from the graphic novel of the same name by Bobby Crosby.

The final word. Jennifer Lopez: "I had to keep reminding myself: You know what it’s like to be onstage in front of an arena full of people and something embarrassing happens. That’s happened to you. What do you do? What does it feel like when it all falls apart and you go home and you’re on the TV and they’re making fun of you as if it’s not painful? How does that feel? You know what? You’ve cried in a puddle on the floor too. That’s what it feels like. ” Rolling Stone

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