136. India vs England; movie review

INDIA VS ENGLAND
Cert 15
135 mins
BBFC advice: Strong violence

Gosh, I have caught up with some bad movies from the sub-continent recently.
India vs England is not an exciting film about cricket but a very clumsy love story wrapped in controversial history and a laughable diamond heist.
Its storyline is poppycock and its acting is stiffer than the fabled British upper lip.
Nagathihalli Chandrashekar's movie stars Vasishta N. Simha as Kanishka, a well-known English travel vlogger who decides to tour India - the native home of his parents.
When he is there, his pride in Britain is eroded by his feisty tour guide, Medini (Manvitha Harish), with whom he, inevitably falls in love.
Unwittingly, they become embroiled in the robbery of a £15m diamond from a friend of his father (Prakash Belawadi).
The makers of India vs England make the mistake of trying to tick too many boxes and, consequently, fall way short on all counts.
So, the romance between Kanishka and Medini is woefully superficial - they barely know each other, so no surprise that huge misunderstandings should prevail.
Actually, her character is most perplexing - she seems to have ultra-high level knowledge of Indian culture and precious stones and yet is socially inept.
The pair argue about the history of India and England, delving into what the British did either positively or mainly negatively during their occupation.
The final layer is that they become inadvertently wrapped up in the theft of the aforementioned diamond which, apparently, is one of India's lost treasures.
All of this is hard enough to follow but there are also comic criminals, one who is shot in the chest and then, miraculously, leaps up, apparently unscathed, after appearing to be dead.
The acting is stilted (especially the native English speakers), the film jolts all over the place and its political point, about Indian artefacts being returned, is almost lost in the mess.
It is one of the weakest movies of the year so far but I don't believe so because it is biased against the English - I actually think the treasures should be restored to their homelands.
It is a pity that such an inept film is raising that cause.

Reasons to watch: Highlights the horrors of the Empire
Reasons to avoid: Jolts all over the place

Laughs: None
Jumps: None
Vomit: None
Nudity: None
Overall rating: 3/10

Did you know? The governments of India, Pakistan, Iran, and Afghanistan have all claimed rightful ownership of the Koh-i-Noor diamond which is exhibited in the Tower of London and demanded its return ever since India gained independence from the UK in 1947. The British government insists the gem was obtained legally under the terms of the Last Treaty of Lahore and has rejected the claims.

The final word. Vasishta Simha: “Everybody who watches this movie is sure to dig into history. According to me, a person without a sense of history, who has no knowledge about family roots, native place, the state, country, and world, is not human, and this is brought out in India vs England." New Indian Express

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